“If I know anything at all, it’s that a wall is just a wall”

29 Mar

Would you dedicate your life to someone through barred doors that slide shut and lock, full body searches upon each date, and a record that reads murder one..

sentence? -life.

This is a love story. 

 I read this last summer, and to say the least, amazing. Asha Bandele is a poet, writer, and  contributor to Essence, VIBE and The New York TimesThe Prisoner’s Wife  speaks of how she  fell in love with her husband while he was, and throughout their relationship remains incarcerated. on murder charges. Although she’s called all kinds of crazy throughout this memoir, her testimony attests to the strength of truly being dedicated to someone you find worth the work.
 Bandele paints a picture of overcoming structural and emotional walls with her words from  the books inception to  it’s very realistic and non- fairy tale ending. Love and relationships of course have ups and downs, but this recollection of lonely months turned to years and monitored visits give a whole new meaning to strength.

“This is a love story, the one not generally discussed in polite or even public conversation. But if there’s one thing that I do know about myself, it’s that I know I hate secrets, that secrets mean shame, and that I am not now, nor will ever be, ashamed that I am a woman who has loved someone, and that someone has loved me… And even though so many people have asked me if I have lost my mind, if I am lonely, or desperate. Even though so many people have wondered if I was having a crisis, or determined that I was just going through a phase, I will continue loving the man I am loving. I will love him even though he’s got an ugly past, skeletons, and sorrow. Even though he doesn’t have a great job or position or power, and even though he’s a prisoner at a maximum-security correctional facility, which my husband, Rashid, is, I will continue loving him. 


And this is our story.”


I can honestly it’s one of those books that can change your heart, or in the least expand your mind.
Asha Bandele has also written follow up books related to her life with her incarcerated husband entitled Something like Beautiful and Daughter.

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