Gray areas

26 Aug

“Can you be a good feminist and admit out loud that there are things you kinda dig about patriarchy? Would I be forced to turn in my “feminist membership card” if I confessed that suddenly waking up in a world free of gender inequities pr expectations just might bug me out a little?

Suppose you don’t want to pay for your own dinner, hold the door open fix things, move furniture, or get intimate with whatevers under the hood of a car?…Am I no longer down for the cause if I admit that while total gender equality is an interesting intellectual concept, it doesn’t do a damn thing for me erotically? That, truth be told, men with too many “feminist” sensibilities have never made my panties wet, at least not like that reformed thug nigga who can make even the most chauvinistic of “whats up baby” feel like a sweet, wet tongue darting in and out of your ear.

And how come no on ever admits that part of the reason women love hip-hop–as sexist as it is–is ‘cuz all that in-yo-face testosterone makes our nipples hard? Are we no longer good feminists, not to mention nineties supersistas, if the A.M.’s wee hours sometimes leave us tearful and frightened that achieving all our mothers wanted us to-great educations, careers, financial and emotional independence-has made us undesirable to the men who are supposed to be our counterparts? Men whose fascination with chickenheads leave us convinced they have no interest in dating, let alone marrying, their equals?…

In short, I needed a feminism brave enough to fuck with the grays. And this was not my foremother’s feminism.”

excerpt from Joan Morgan’s essay hip-hop feminist

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